memorialgarden

Pregnancy loss or miscarriages are very common.  One out of every four pregnancies ends in some kind of loss.  That is a very high number.  This means if you have more than four children, statistically you should have experienced some kind of loss.  These numbers are very depressing numbers.  People should be made aware of these numbers – so when why your axe falls, you don’t feel completely blind sided like I did.  If miscarriages were regarded more main stream i.e. people completely understood that a miscarriage is actually the equivalent of a death of family member, I believe people would be more sensitive.  However when a miscarriage occurs the family tends to keep it private and not make a big production of their loss.  Its almost like society has asked us to not make a big fuss over what is perceived as a pseudo life.  Having been there, there is nothing pseudo about the baby in the mommas womb.  Tell this to a 3 year old child who has just learnt that Mommy is not going to have a baby anymore because the baby died.  Nothing pseudo there…  The grief the child feels is genuine- why shouldn’t mothers, fathers, and Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents be allowed to grieve than same way you would when you loose an adult?  What I am trying to say that is no reason why you should feel awkward about installing a showcase memorial garden in your yard that befits your heart.  Let people gawk, whisper, and say whatever they want- but in time they will come around and understand.  I tend to go over board with my gardening.  It was a blessing that we have the community garden which allows for my enthusiasm.  My yard was too small for me to make an adequate memorial to my forever child and anyway we were planning to move and the thought of having to uproot the garden was more than I could bear.

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